If you're unsure about what your kinky preferences are, licensed sex therapist Vanessa Marin suggests easing your way in. Your brand of kink might be sex with multiple partners at once it might be having your partner secretly use a remote control vibrator on you while out with friends it might include using sex toys with your partner in the bedroom. " if kink is defined as anything that exists outside of the norm, I challenge you to think about whose norm you’re conforming to," she says. At its most basic level, kink refers to unconventional sexual preferences or behaviors, says sex therapist Veronica N. Now, the term "kink" gets thrown around a lot, thus carrying a lot of ambiguity. "Inherently, it gives you the opportunity to talk about things on a deeper level, discuss different boundaries, debrief and evaluate together in a way that couples sometime forget to do when they have the same routine sex life." "Introducing kinkier elements into your sex life together can create a sense of adventure and deepen sense of trust," Balestrieri says. Plus, if you’re in a serious relationship, talking about your kinks and preferences can help you feel more connected to your partner, says Kate Balestrieri, licensed psychologist, certified therapist and founder of Modern Intimacy. In fact, there are basic, accessible ways to make sex feel more erotic without going into full BDSM mode (unless you want to). Taking relationships-whether long term, a casual fling, or a FWB-to the next level and getting a little kinky doesn’t have to be as intimidating as it sounds. If you've only rotated between two or three sex positions in the past month, it's probably time to spice things up (for your own pleasure's sake).
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